Several years ago, I went on an adventure exploring past life regression. My very first session was done in the home of a person I respected at the time. The first past life regression took me to a large family setting on a working farm. The life purpose projected onto me was to maintain the farm. It was pure survival where there was no room for emotion. My mother and father in that life were both cold and disconnected, and as children, our purpose was to work hard and please them.
I remember the feeling my higher self shared as it guided me through this experience. There was such sadness and disappointment that as we as eternal beings enter this reality, we are shaped by survival to detach from who we are really are. Pieces of us are disconnected in the process of living a human life out of the necessity for survival. We forget who we are and often are programmed to be something else entirely. The despair I felt in that regression was a critical moment, though I was lead away from it. Through those sessions, I would discover that the person doing the regression can easily guide us away from the most critical pieces of information based on their perception and underlying agenda.
During my time playing in the spiritual community, I observed that we allow individuals to have power over others, and they often use that power to misguide them for their gain. Somehow we put these people on pedestals believing they have information that is not available to us. Mostly it is in those relationships that we replay the dynamic we learned as children. I am not blaming anyone; we are all similar; they have forgotten who they are and have learned survival programs just as we have. All of our behaviors are filtered through our unconscious bias.
As I drifted out of those groups and belief systems, I’d receive more and more information that allowed me to see just how we disconnect from our authenticity and sometimes journey to find our way back by conquering the programs that guided us away. Over the years, I have gained a connection to more and more of who I am and have always been. Beyond this human physical experience, I have had many experiences; I will always be.
I understand the quantum possibilities. And I recognize I may be having all of these experiences simultaneously across the illusion of time and space, the information filtering through for my use as I emerge in interaction with information. At this moment, I know I am not human, I am not my body, I am an eternal being that moves outside of this dimension having a human experience. At the same time, I am finding and reconnecting all my parts and pieces, returning to an experience of my authenticity and also recognizing my relationship with my body and respecting her as I should have always done. I am riding waves of experience that allow me to experience pieces of what is already whole.
This became apparent after my recent surgery and dance with cancer. The patterns of experience are undeniable. I have watched a cycle that began in the summer of 2007 finally end this summer of 2021 with this recent surgery. My surgery on the summer solstice I emerged connected to a more significant portion of my authentic essence and being. The cancer was no longer cancer, just a non-malignant tumor. It housed much of the pain I carried around. Once removed, I was free from the emotional experiences which had been made manifest into my physical body. I saw how I had trusted my intuition, and it had taken me right to where I needed to be, experiencing in the flow. My gift for trusting myself was a whole new perspective and experience of standing in my authenticity and power. I emerged with boundaries that would no longer allow others the power over me that often resulted in my disconnection.
The message continues to ring; we mustn’t allow the perceptions and agenda of others to disconnect us from our authentic selves. Whether it is a need to belong or be accepted, learning who you are and trusting that regardless of others results in freedom. Fully understanding who we were before the programs and the survival thrust upon us is of the utmost importance. Here we find an experience of wholeness and a connection to the greater part of our eternal being or, as I call it, our higher selves. It is a journey of discovery taking us closer to acceptance of our being.
I have entered a new cycle and a whole new experience. My inner and outer critic, which were shaped through trauma, have lost their grip, and I live to the fullest. Shame no longer pulls me from my authentic self, and I stand firm in my energy. I am experiencing more of myself, and it is beautiful. As I follow my lead, I flow in and out of the experience with grace. As I look at everything that is in my life, I feel gratitude. My reconnection and trust of my authentic self shaped the experience, only when I took back my power completely. And it has shaped a human experience full of love, no longer merely surviving and settling but genuinely living and thriving.