Personal evolution, emerging into possibility

As time passes and I interact within this reality operating through my perception, I experience and recognize patterns and have been able to make several assertions. From my perspective, my reality is shaped by interaction with information. The way I see it, humans have an emergent property where we seem to be evolving through experiences. Some themes and patterns display themselves throughout our lives. The interaction and integration of information allow us to traverse the repeated patterns from a new perspective, armed with added information between patterned events and experiences. It is at this point that we can shape our experiences and interactions with the information.
I have noticed over the years that large groups of people who have suffered trauma gravitate towards ideas that provide a sense of control or bypassing of a depth of interaction and understanding of their trauma or any triggering stressor. Through my awareness, I recognize that trauma wires the brain to operate in a particular way, shaping perception. I find a link between these individual’s perceptions shaped by stress and trauma. Understanding how my central nervous system was shaped and practicing rewiring it brings an awareness of the slightest feelings and sense of my perception. Armed with this information, I can enter situations and change my repeated patterns of experience.
For me, the journey through my reality has allowed for an understanding that changes my experiences. This awareness is a choice and requires complete honesty and authenticity. I have had to go deep into my bias and uncover the shame that shaped many of my beliefs. I was a people pleaser and desired approval. In the end, I discovered beneath those behaviors was a simple desire to be loved. It opened the door for me to recognize that in others, reminding me to be more compassionate with others. Taking a step back, I realized I had all the love I could ever desire in my husband and children. I have created a perfect bubble of reality, its foundation built on safety.
Over the last year, I have settled deeply into the authentic self, no longer apologizing for who I am and my perceptions. Although I continue to work to change my perceptions to alleviate a feeling of shame or suffering, I accept and honor who I am. Again, the principal factor for me and my relationships are authenticity and honesty. These precepts are my boundaries, and I no longer apologize for them.
My relationship with my husband represents the possibility for all other relationships. We are not threatened by one another, our belief systems are entirely different than the other, yet we are secure in who we are. I do not force my perspectives onto him; I celebrate his unique, authentic self. We communicate openly and without judgment because we know we are safe. We make no assumptions; if we have questions, we ask. We respect and love one another to a degree I rarely see in other relationships. For this, I am honored and blessed. It was my goal to have this type of relationship. It was only through interaction with information that I shaped my experience. I knew what I did not want and actively shaped the experiences I would prefer through awareness and choice.
I have come to a repetitive cycle in my life that happens every ten to fifteen years. How will I interact with the information given my accumulation and change in perception over these last ten to fifteen years? For one, I am incredibly aware of my brain patterns, and I no longer react. I explore my thought process and feelings, interacting with compassion rather than shame. This change in perspective has already shifted how I interact with information and has changed my experience. I feel safe, and for someone who carries a diagnosis and brain biology of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, this is undoubtedly evolution. I see myself emerging through an evolution built on awareness and authenticity. My fears subsiding as I settle into the loving reality that I have cultivated.

Published by onefacet

I am consciousness experiencing. Exploring and journeying through this reality while always creating and living the best version of myself, the one I prefer.

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