A couple of years ago, I came to face my codependent behaviors. I recognized the narcissistic and codependent dynamic that was pervasive within my relationship structures. By recognizing there are core wounds in all parties that were processed differently, creating perceptions lending to specific behaviors allowing each to feed off the other, I went for many deep dives. I absolutely had to heal these core wounds to shift my codependent behaviors that were prevalent throughout my relationships. While I have made great progress, I still have more energy to shift working my way through the layers of frequency. The only way I have been successful in this is by treating all experiences, feelings, and relationships with compassion.
No one is at fault here. The blame, shame, and guilt only strengthen the prison these emotions can create. We are only doing the best we have with the current level of awakening and awareness we are experiencing individually. Some of us may never awaken to this, and that is okay. Perhaps their purpose is to show us the energy. However, the more of us who shift these energies, the more collective shift we will experience.
As you probably can see by that last statement, there is a connection between the two. Of course, there is, it is the micro and macro that is prevalent throughout nature. We see this relationship dynamic collectively. It is expressed throughout many groups and societal dynamics. Certain races and classes express and experience the narcissist and codependent relationship.
As it becomes apparent to us, the divide between the two begins to soften. The relationships shifted as each party starts to take responsibility and ends the blame, shame, and guilt game with radical honesty. As we shift the energy, the distortions fall away, this changes our perception, allowing for a clearer picture of nature and reality. No, these groups may not see or experience the world the same, but they begin to take responsibility for their behaviors and embrace the connectivity of the all. Some may never grow beyond the ethnocentric perspective, and that is okay. But many of us are, and that is a new individual and collective experience on this planet.
There are many beliefs pervasive throughout differing cultures. In the west, we believe in some of the false science of survival of the fittest. There continues to be a dualistic view that creates the relationship dynamics. Nature versus nurture, individualism versus collectivism, the “us versus them.” Perhaps it is time for an evolution of perception to expose a veiled truth. There was or is never a “versus.” The reality beneath the learned programmed expresses a “this and that,” not this or that. All fields are connected, all relationships, and all energy. When we open to the possibility of shifting our beliefs and practices to inclusivity and connectivity, reality and experience change, not only individually but collectively, they are one and the same. I see it in my academic courses, the division of topics, and research, which assists in examining the pieces. But there continues to be a disconnect for the whole. All the pieces and parts work together, impacting the representation of the whole.
The narcist and codependent are the same energy; only the energy is expressed differently. We have all the same parts and pieces of the programs that shape our perception and experience. No one is right or wrong here; we experience the interactions because we are an energetic match. The experiences in an individual relationship, as well as collective, are showing us something. For me, I have found opening my awareness and treating my behaviors, feelings, and relationships with compassion were the key to shift the energy. I am applying the same view with the collective. Holding and loving my own energy while also respecting the energy of others with compassion. I no longer need to feed off of others by projecting my perspectives onto them. Can I hold space valuing the perspective of another without being triggered? Do I have to project my beliefs onto others? Or can I celebrate each individual and their perspective with love and compassion?
Ram Dass said, “if you think you are enlightened, spend time with your family.” These relationships challenge us to shift and grow when we are open to exploring the great adventure of this human experience. We are the fractal nature of reality; we have all the parts and pieces within. Where will we shine our light of observation next? As we begin to experience more of our multidimensionality within the human expression, we can see the THIS AND THAT connectivity. Our one facet of perspective expands to be multifaceted. And the challenge is to integrate that through belief and action from the heart with love and compassion.
The evolution within each of us is reflective within the collective. The feminine and masculine, and all all duality structure is coming into balance and cooperation to create something new. And I for one and enjoying the RIDE!