Happy fall! At the halfway point between daylight and darkness, the perfect balance. And lately I have been finding the perfect balance in many areas of my life. It continues to show up in many ways. In the areas that I continue to focus, it is all connected. For months I have observed balance as a main topic. No matter where I focus the one thing remains the same, doing it with radical authenticity and honesty are essential to achieve with the balance which requires integration.
Let’s begin with time! I have been having a problem with time. There never seems to be enough and it goes by way too quickly. Additionally, sometimes I feel like I am not using what time I have in the most beneficial ways. We are so busy with homeschooling, my last year of college to receive my undergrad degree (and then onto graduate school), and restoration from the flood (almost done) that there is little time for anything else. Quality time in the way I previous viewed it has evolved to those brief daily moments when I look at my children and my husband with gratitude. Balance between these necessary tasks and presence shows itself to me.
This brings me to what appears to be an important topic for us all. I have been observing this and experiencing it as it evolves in myself and others, EMOTIONS! A sudden realization about emotions and the populations programming regarding emotion has been front and center. The last week I have had a massive awakening regarding the judgment of others and the judgment of our self that does not allow for the healthy flow of emotion. We have been taught that if we have a moment of sadness, that there is something wrong, we must always perform and measure up to being happy. I have discussed this in previous blogs, I call the depression I experience the bottom of the wave. Over this year I shifted my perspective of this bottom of the wave and ended my judgment. I now look at it as a moment where I am accumulating energy preparing for the ride to surf the top of wave. However, there is a deep program here, I only addressed the bottom of the wave and this depressed state, but much more has presented itself, ripe for exploration. The emotion program requires us to NEVER openly share our feelings, we should probably depress, detach, and allow for the diagnosis from an outside approved party dictating the result of these behaviors. The mainstream narrative is that taking a pill, practicing a little mindfulness, and all will be okay! And if it isn’t well of course there is something WRONG with YOU!
Let me just stop right here! There is NOTHING wrong with you! What is wrong is that we are not allowing our emotions to flow. They are our great communicators, they are not bad, they just are, and exploration of them is as important as eating a healthy diet. Over the years I observed many who have detached and buried their emotions. Worse I observe people who mistake perception for emotion. I have had this message come through in major ways in readings when I worked with individuals in this capacity. And EVERY time, the person simply would not allow it! The program here is so deep and so wide! Our emotions are one of our superpowers, they are a special energy held only by humans, connect and allow them to evolve through open exploration and self-discovery. In this inverted reality, emotions have been bastardized because they are creation energy and powerful. When we are in radical authentic states, emotions flow, are heard, they are there to create a balance in our physical bodies. They allow for healthy relationships and can bring a fulfillment we have never experienced, because we do not respect or are not in balance with our emotions.
I continue to work on expressing my emotions. Recently I made a pact with a friend, for thirty days, she and I will respond to our feelings by acknowledging and listening to them no matter the time or place and without judgement! If we do not express them or acknowledge them, we will write down what we were feeling and why we chose not to. I have a FEELING we are going to discover quite a bit about ourselves and our fears around rejection and not-enough-ness. Ultimately it appears acceptance is one of the motivators for disengaging emotion, and I look forward to the challenge. I implore you, take this thirty-day challenge and explore yourself, think of the great adventure to be had here! This may open the door for something amazing and freeing! You will have a new awakened experience.
I continue to see this pattern revolving around balance. I see where we strive not to feel these lower designated emotions and choose only to focus on the light. That is because we have been taught to judge the dark as bad or evil. It is not! Again, it is communicating what we are rejecting, morphing itself to be heard. Our bodies, the collective, and nature all return to balance. But it can never do so without being heard and understood. The communication is continuing to get louder and louder until at last effort there is destruction and a rebuilding. But it does not have to end in complete destruction and rebuilding if we are listening and willing to integrate allowing balance to be initiated and maintained. We can no longer reject and detach from pieces of ourselves, from other humans, and from the earth. But it requires something new, to bringing all the pieces together without judgement, just an open willingness to explore.
The tree does not judge itself for having to pull its energy within, it allows for change as its leaves die and fall away. It does not think it is better than other trees or compare itself to the surrounding trees. It does not isolate itself, allowing for the connection of the roots to assist one another in relationship. In the spring it births and spreads its leaves releasing and sharing pollen to create. The tree takes the eliminated carbon from other creatures and recycles it into oxygen to feed in a shared cycle of support. It needs to experience all weather. It bears flowers and fruit to feed insects and animals alike. It expands out in all direction growing and reaching for the light. The tree allows the flow, it does not hold back, and does not detach. The tree knows the cycle and does not judge or change time, it flows and allows, always in balance. I see the tree, I explore the tree, I AM the tree.