Since I was young, I have always seen what has been labeled beyond the veil of reality. However, growing up, those who surrounded me did not understand it, and I was taught to fear it. I believed I was being punished for some unknown act I had committed, some unconscious belief that made me punishable, this religious teaching that I was a sinner. Though my mother and father, were not religious during my early upbringing, I was exposed to many who would use their organized religion as a tool for abuse. My parents would eventually become born again Christians, and with that, a much deeper fracture through their choices and our relationship would occur.
My constant response was one of observation and a deep knowing; we are all Jesus, I would reply. And further, I would say, you can no longer fear me into compliance. The adults in reaction believed this to be rebellion, for me an innate knowing and remembering, and in these two areas, I NEVER WAIVERED. Of all of the teachings, ideas, and beliefs pushed onto me, this knowing has remained.
It was in the nineties that I came across Sylvia Brown and her teachings. She offered a series of spiralbound books based on the beliefs gleaned from her adventures on the other side. I would venture to Akron, Ohio, several times to see her in a packed convention center and was disappointed by the “show” of it all. Her teachings felt as close as I could get to my core knowing at the time; this is where I was introduced to meditation.
In early adulthood, I was attracted to New Age materials, which was a section less than an arm’s length at the local bookstore. I would go on to hold psychic parties at my home or my mother’s home and go to the local psychic fairs. Back then, this was only five vendors pulling together to share their gifts and make some cash. My connection to what I referred to as the other side continued to call me, I quite literally had a different way of being. Even when it was not popular, and my family rejected me, I knew there was something here that was an important piece, and it continued to tap me to join in without fear.
Like breadcrumbs, I can look back on my life and see the trail left for me. Leading me to 2007 when it was time to let go of the old, be broken down, and to begin what I call the return. It was during this time that I became awakened to my behaviors, and I slowly began to make choices that would change my frequency just enough to create new experiences. However, I did not know it at the time. My perspective then was one of pain and suffering, but even in those moments, I managed to spread the pure love and light I have always emitted through my natural state of authenticity since birth into this plane.
In 2011, I would have the major shift; I was at the local hardware store buying a light fixture. The cashier said to me, my son says all those noises being heard around the world is mother earth crying out in pain. Mind you; I had not opened the conversation to such things, I really hadn’t said anything. It was like this was my trigger phrase, like a movie when someone is programmed as a sleeper and a word is said that sets them on their mission. I replied this was the first I heard of any noises around the earth. I went straight home and looked it up, sure enough, strange booms and scraping sounds were being recorded around the world. The flood gates had just been opened. I would spend the next nine years seeking information and experiences like it was my job.
I began following the work of Gregg Braden and Drunvalo Melchizedek at this time. The new age communities were all focused on the following year’s winter solstice 2012 and the Mayan calendar event. There was a great change during these years, leading into 2014, the matrix or simulation was revealed to me. My experience of time changed, my reality shifted, and this is when the real FUN began!
I read every book, watched every video, and tasted every modality available during those early years post 2012. I took class after class, workshop after workshop, seeking something I felt driven to obtain. I would spend hours meditating, believing I was doing it wrong, because my meditations would take me on these journeys beyond time and space. After years and years of seeking, I made a huge discovery. Finally, realizing the true hero’s journey, everything was in me ALL ALONG!
I had a few major transcendent experiences that showed me the layers of the matrix. At first, I would use modalities to have these experiences as a means of escape, but that would change over time. I observed the paradox in perspectives within each sphere of reality. I traversed journeys where time and time again, my guides would point out not allowing me to become identified with a particular label due to my explorations. Suddenly I discovered these experiences were the bigger pieces of me, not through identity but my conscious nature. I AM CONSCIOUSNESS, expressing and experiencing. My guides, the interdimensional beings, were all larger pieces of me expressed through the fractal nature of this reality.
I would go on to discover more and more of my true multidimensional nature and began the journey of integrating that into my physical sphere of reality. No longer the spiritual emergency I had originally believed it to be, I opened to the exploration through expression and experience and began letting go of judgment. With compassion and love for myself, I realized, stepped into being, and formally agreed through allowance to my true state as a CREATOR.
Working through self-mastery, I realize how this reality operates and am learning to master the energy of which I am. Entirely responsible for my sphere of creation, I create as a reflection of my state of being. Through integration, I change my perspective and experience—all from within.
To INFINITY and BEYOND!