One of the things that continued to show itself to me is where I was reaching outside of myself to heal and to validate. The past few nights, the messages about sovereignty through boundaries and where I create agreements is paramount. It has taken me many years to understand just how sensitive I am to energies. In the past, the typical response is that I need more boundaries, but as a person who reached outside of herself to validate the self, knowing what a healthy boundary is was difficult—detaching from the authentic self as a safety mechanism in childhood reversed my system. Instead of living from the “inside out,” I lived from the “outside in.” With this system of operation, how would one have healthy boundaries that allow for a state of sovereignty?
Too often, I had heard there was something wrong with me; I was too sensitive or not expressive enough, and required better boundaries. All communications were in lack, the typical you do not measure up to the standards we have set for you, not good enough cycle of abuse. When we believe these perspectives, we are agreeing to them and creating from this state of being.
Beginning in 2019, a pronounced difficulty with allopathic medicine presented itself. It was a control dynamic, one where I was giving my power away in agreement. I am not against western medicine; we have made great strides in discovery and invention in the field. But I believe when we work with a healer, whether it is allopathic, natural path, ayurvedic, or any other modality, it is an agreement to work in partnership. The healer is only holding the space or providing extended tools to heal ourselves. No one knows my body and the sensations that I feel better than me. I am so sensitive to any shift in energy and any change that occurs in my body. I have a relationship with my body; I am NOT my body. So like a car that has a sudden change in feeling when you touch the gas or brake, that sound when the engine needs an attunement, I hear and feel my body.
Last August, I learned that I had a thyroid issue. I had gone to doctors, not trusting myself, seeking answers with many symptoms for the years prior. A doctor did NOT find my issue; I was sent to a dermatologist. I discovered it because I tracked my body’s processes. After a few years and more symptoms, I then went with the diagnosis to my doctor, which was confirmed in blood work. I was put on medicine, and that was that. There were no questions as to the cause or what I could do other than taking this pill. I sat with my body to discover what was behind my thyroid issues. My body communicated that the very energy of not enough ness and lack caused a cascade failure in my body from my gut to my adrenals, onto thyroid, and more. I began to listen more intently to my body and trust her.
This brings me to the over-exaggerated messages I continue to receive about boundaries and sovereignty. If you read my blog, you know I had a go-round with getting relief from an infected tooth, teeth issues also a result of the enamel breaking down due to gut and thyroid issues (discovered in MY research). I received an antibiotic from my PC; this was one different from the one I had manifested for myself; I took it and had an awful reaction to it, not digestive but emotionally and energetically! I immediately began feeling strange, like I was underwater. My husband knew something was wrong, and I didn’t know what to do, I was supposed to take this antibiotic for my tooth and continued out of fear. I pushed through as my higher self-kept giving me signals to stop. They continued to play the song by REM, “What’s the frequency, Kenneth.” I discontinued the antibiotic, and as time passed, I began to feel better.
When I visited the dentist yesterday to have my tooth removed, I was told I needed to have the x rays repeated because he was looking at the wrong tooth and was confused that I was saying a tooth was infected when it was not on the image the week prior when we met. All I could do was laugh! Then he shot me up with numbing agents, gave it little time to spread, and began to work on my tooth of which I could feel everything. Frustrated because I could feel and the medicine was not working quickly enough for him, he said I needed to be sedated by an oral surgeon that the tooth would probably break, and he would not be able to work on me. I was given a different antibiotic with a referral. I got home and called the referred doctor and found the earliest appointment was October, and they did not sedate for what I needed to be done. Mind you; I have had teeth pulled in the past. While it isn’t what I want to do on a Friday afternoon when the meds are working, I am numb, and the dentist is patient I have no problem.
I called my dentist back to inform them the referral was not going to work; this new dentist does not provide the needed services. They said they would call me back, and I never heard from anyone for the rest of the day. Now I have a hole in my tooth and no upcoming plan, except for more antibiotics!
These experiences are about living from the inside out and forging the boundaries required that allow me to express my frequency in a sovereign way. I am NOT TOO ANYTHING, and there is nothing WRONG with me. The question is and always has been, how do I operate in agreements that are in sovereignty? Not just within medicine but in all areas. This is what the divine mother has been showing me and teaching me, where I had never learned to have boundaries forged from the inside extending out. I always have accommodated others and worked to make everyone happy to survive. The safety this provides is an illusion and keeps me in agreement with victimhood within the power over other structures of reality.
I feel like I am on the precipice of a significant shift in creating the changes in physicality that I require and desire. I have been playing with frequencies in many ways for many years, and the messages have all led me to this now. When I feel into specific ideas, I can literally feel them in my body, almost like a taste test before agreeing to them. And while many people do not see and feel frequencies the way I do, that is okay. I have learned I AM oaky. This is my unique divine perspective and reality as we all have our own, no two the same. Disease is a frequency, and I can see it and feel it when I explore beyond my sphere of reality.
The messages were received in their entirety. I have no fear and know I am safe. I did not get upset yesterday or overwhelmed as I would have in the past; I only laughed, knowing how silly the messages had to get for me to see and respond in a sovereign way. Ask yourself where you have agreed to ideas that are on the outside of you brought within and made manifest? Are you sovereign? What messages are being communicated, giving you a choice into the next now?
As I continue to work by pulling information from the field and healing through frequencies, I am sovereign in manifesting from the inside out. Because if I am honest, all the healing I have done in my life has come from me and no other place that exists outside of me. It was me who sought out information, it was me who went within to feel and explore, and ultimately it was me who made it all manifest in my physical expression and my sphere of reality. Our agreements determine our sovereignty; I am no longer operating in a lack within the power over others, structure. I AM SOVEREIGN! What’s your frequency?