How I relate to situations has been prominent in the last two days. Over these last few years, I have recognized my relation to these experiences was about not being enough or lack belief structures. But since January, my last dance with this experience, wow, I have shifted!
My recent experiences with dentistry have shown me my growth. While I was in reaction and baffled really triggered by the lack of compassion and senselessness, I allowed the wave to come. I sent a venting email to a “friend” (thank you for that space friend), made more phone calls to obtain needed services, and just let go! My awareness with myself was I would not contract; I will expand, remaining present in the wave of experience. Even when I react, I will not judge myself; I will just allow. When I move out of unconscious action even if it is reactionary anger, I will just be in my conscious state, not judging myself but focusing on my awareness with compassion.
I could see what I was feeling and identified the last echoes of my escapades with control. I identified the conversation I had within my mind. I know it is all an illusion of separateness, feelings of rejection, and abandonment, not-enough-ness. If I am enough, I wouldn’t be treated this way. Wow, THAT echo from childhood STILL whispering! However, in nurturing, I remind myself; I am not my feelings! I AM enough and am where I am meant to be—allowing this experience as a wave, riding it as it shows me more of myself. I experience more of the love I have for myself and take it deeper within anchoring it for the next wave.
Through compassion, I realize what I need in this now. To hold space for not physically feeling well, and that is okay. To take all the actions I can take in loving myself, and let go, allowing the next experience to unfold. Remembering I will always be okay; everything will unfold as it is meant to be. It is in presence and compassion that I can hold this space. Realizing I AM spirit on this amazing adventure returning to experiencing my wholeness.
Through this awareness, I continue my shift into freedom riding the wave of experience.