I do not wish to sound redundant but, WOW WHAT A RIDE! Last year around this time, I recognized finally declared my freedom from the relationship patterns I had been manifesting and participating in. I certainly had learned co-dependent behaviors from my youth. As a child, I must have realized it was not safe to be who I AM, so I detached from that frequency enough to survive. My go-to survival mechanism was to please others to provide safety for myself and to find value on the outside of myself through that pleasing of others.
The last year has been about reattaching to my authentic self and returning to sovereignty. The only way to do that was to love me unconditionally and to have compassion for my wounds. I was taught, like most us, to be ashamed of my wounds. And last year, as I began to recognize precisely how this reality works, I, for the first time, experienced how we use the wounds of others and ourselves as weapons that keep us a prisoner and incapable of achieving our sovereignty. It is really through the judgment of anything, any person, or any experience that creates the prison, because through judgment comes shame, blame, and guilt. For me, it was a love of my wounds, a release of the energy of blame, shame, and guilt that provided my first taste of true freedom.
Here we are a year later, and my journey back to my authenticity and standing firm in my core frequency is being experienced in wholeness. I am observing those who are outside of myself, finding their way back to their core frequency without fear or shame. And this is the most beautiful thing I have witnessed. To remember or realize who you really are is the most amazing experience I have had to date. It has provided me the freedom to observe without judgment. Being in my authenticity shows me exactly how I am manifesting from the inside out. All the layers of distortion and chaos have been removed, so the energy is easy to observe and feel. With a release of judgment, I allow myself to fully sense on every level. The judgment which creates expectation and assumption as a secondary experience was always the shadow in my reality. That is why I manifested so many relationships where I was continuously judged because it came from within me. And in my reality, I am observing many others begin to emerge from the shadow of which I have journeyed. Why am I witnessing this? Because I did it, and now I am observing the reflection!
Now emerged from this shadow, I am beginning to manifest pure freedom. This freedom has been showing up as the release of my need to control. Again, just like codependency is was created out of necessity to feel safe. Back in March, I mentioned the structures of power of others, victim aggressor, and co-dependent narcissistic energies would be ending. It was time for any system built in those energies to crumble and new systems to be built. This observation was based on my own internal journey emerging from this power over other energy I had experienced and fought my entire life. My parents would call my behaviors as having a problem with authority. Still, as a result of my own childhood experiences, the idea of another person or system having power over me never sat right. And now, as I emerge from the shadow, I see how as I heal that illusion in me, it begins to change in my sphere and out in the collective.
The illusion is that anyone ever had any power over us at all. It has been a slow feed and programming that has trained us to operate from this perspective. Beyond the traumas and experiences in childhood that begin to create this frequency of victimhood in our lives, it happens in many other subtle ways. I used to tell my children no, and when they did not comply, punish them because it was inconvenient for me. My parents were not available in my life because they themselves were so wounded; as a result, I am completely overprotective with my own children, because I too was wounded. My overprotectiveness has not allowed them the space to experiment and play, why because I do not know how to. These experiences create behaviors of which then create an illusion of change, but still within the illusion none the less, each is only fear expressed as something else. We think we are trading one energy for another, but the behaviors are born of the same energy, and even if they appear different are not. This structure is how the power over others has dictated our lives for thousands of years.
So after finally alchemizing and integrating judgment, I am now working through control and observing the many ways it has infiltrated my life. I recall being in first grade, it was during the cold war, and the teacher was teaching us about communism. The propaganda that was used on us was all based in fear, and it worked. We would have drills to hide under our desk in case there was a nuclear explosion. I remember imagining what would happen with the images that had been so strategically placed within my mind. They also taught us how awful communism was and was preparing us to accept capitalism. I was taught those under communist rule were not allowed to smile, have fun, or wear the clothing they preferred. For a first-grader, this fear propaganda was successful. I was being poised for the systems to come, and with this slow feed, I would accept it all without asking questions. This is the system of control that has been used against us; the fear used to insight the choice to abide. Why wouldn’t we? We do not know any better. The most recent slow feed has been the disclosure of alien life. The news, while never addressing all the years they labeled and outcasted of those exploring conspiracy, has slowly fed disclosure. The moment of providing public vindication for this group never comes. They will create a slow feed, change the way we educate the youth, and it will just be accepted as truth. This is how all our beliefs become our truth. Until NOW, why? Because I’m changing what I believe within me.
What if the beliefs we have were based on false information? What if we do not see the whole picture but a piece or a layer and have labeled it something else other than what it really is, in turn, the rest of our truth is based on this false belief? I am reminded of Plato’s Cave, the allegory where people live there lives chained in a cave and only face a blank wall. Those in the cave watch the shadows created by men that pass in front of fire projected on the wall and believe them as truth in reality. The shadows are the prison of belief because they know no different. When someone escapes the cave and comes back to inform them of the falsity of their reality, they are shunned and, in our reality, labeled as woo-woo or conspiracy theorists. My current stance is in this reality is that there is no wrong or right way, or truth or false, for anything; it is only layers of perspective. We are experiencing the layer of perspective we need for the time, always a reflection from within. And what is true in my reality may not be true in yours. I am no longer afraid to be wrong! Throughout history, those who would like to maintain power over others dictated the conversation of truth through fear of rejection and isolation. By labeling things woo-woo, however, when each woo-woo idea is then confirmed, they never go back and celebrate those who dared to question and explore. I have recently had this happen with Donald Hoffman and his conscious agents’ theory. I continuously have my woo-woo beliefs confirmed in my reality. Look at the many ideas throughout history where men and women either did not have the courage to publish their theories due to being labeled a hieratic and put to death or did speak out and where slain for challenging the power over others dynamic with new information. I no longer fear death, and furthermore, I know longer fear nonexistence! Because I know WHO I AM.
Enter my last two weeks and the distortion that has come to the surface to be alchemized and integrated. I am suddenly making choices that are disturbing to some, by recognizing and breaking out of the programmed beliefs. Control is created through fear, and it has dictated how I live my life. For example, my husband and I are considering pursuing our skydiving class A license. There are those who attempted to insight fear within us, telling us how dangerous it is or using our small children as an example of why it is not beneficial for us to pursue. My response, let’s do a little research; let’s see if your claim is valid. For every ten thousand miles I drive, I have a one in one hundred chance of dying in a car accident. I have a one in one thousand chance of dying in a skydiving accident. Additionally, my husband works as a maintenance tech in a warehouse. He is constantly doing “dangerous” jobs that require heights and dealing with live electrical wires, yet no one tells him maybe he should stay home! The lamp above me could fall out of the ceiling right now while I write this blog, and I could die. Guess what if my parachute doesn’t open, and then my backup chute doesn’t open, it was time for me to die! I no longer fear death! And I know if I die, my children will be fine, they will live or not, the choices they make hopefully a bit different than the last generation and NONE based in all of the fears used to manipulate us as the power of others victim aggressor dynamic. I can no longer live my life through the programs of fear. The paradox is I release control, by taking back my control as represented in true freedom and sovereignty.
So as the layers of the illusion are revealed, I continue to make choices that are about living my life to the fullest—no longer making choices in the illusion of control. By understanding my worth and remembering who I AM, I choose to live, to express, and to experience. Because when I declare and experience full freedom, so it gets reflected in my sphere and the collective. This reflection is how change occurs. My sovereignty means the sovereignty of many more until we have changed the structure completely! This change in frequency is the end of the power over others through fear dynamic. Fear has always been the virus.