Wowzers, what a fun ride the last few days have been! A great deal of the pieces is coming together to give me insight into what is next. This inquiry had been the question to my guides. I also had a desire to understand why I experienced some of the things I do. Of course, as ALWAYS, the answers arrive. I am brought back to myself, with myself, with a deep love and gratitude for all my selves. Without even recognizing it along the way this last year and in particular these previous months, I had created a beautiful support system.
Sometimes I do not listen to my guidance. I am confident I am not alone here; anyone reading this will have had those moments when something is shown to us but we ignore it. I had a few nudges earlier this month, and more as several situations had unfolded, all experienced through the collective energy we all are feeling through. There are always many different perspectives on the planet, and I feel them, as I am strongly connected to the collective unconscious. What I choose to focus on and create in my reality has always been mine alone and never moved by fear. Well, let me more honest here; I evolved into this place. It took me a phase-type experience to get to this place. As I integrated my own shadow, my perspectives and manifestations shifted.
Earlier this month, the whole collective was focused on this virus, and all the possibilities link to it. This concentration on one topic took me closer to inquiring with my guidance on what was the correct perspective for me because I could see three main categories of feeling with the collective. None of these three resonated; every time I put my toe in the water to test out a perspective, I physically got ill. My guides explained to me that none of these paths was for me, that I was to create my own. This may sound difficult, but for me, my path has often been solitary because people are not usually ready for what I bring in frequency.
For many years I did not understand this and have sought answers outside of myself because I always felt like there was something “wrong” with me. When I communicate with people, they always hear through the filters of their reality, which includes a ton of insecurities. I trigger these insecurities, but I also trigger fearless and unconditional love, which in itself seems beautiful when you say it. But to live unconditional love means you MUST heal and integrate the shadow. And this is very hard for some; they have a lot they have not looked at and have hidden behind words that have created an illusion on top of an illusion. This choice is okay for them; I practice non-righteous and non-judgemental stances on all experiences. Because experience is just experience, it is us who determines its meaning.
Discussing our experience and emotions without involving the secondary emotions of blame, shame, and guilt is my other gift. It doesn’t mean I do not honor and allow my emotions to be felt and integrated. It means I will not allow blame, shame, or guilt to keep me trapped. When we remove these secondary emotions, we can really look at ourselves and communicate in new ways. These new ways actually join us at greater depth through unconditional love, and we create and manifest new realities at a much faster pace. However, not everyone is ready for this, and that is okay. A new path of creation is forming, one based on pure source love energy, and that is why I AM here on this planet. Even if it is not for you, it is for me because this is what I am guided to continue to create. My heart and frequency will match to this creation, and I will experience this in my reality regardless of what you have chosen for you.
This path is terrifying for some, and when viewed through the old paradigm, I understand why. The old paradigm is based on lack, that I have to hoard and hold onto all I have or do not have because it is mine, and I might not have enough. Anything that one perceives as a threat, which is a triggering of insecurities, is met with fear and assumption to support the claim in lack and justify the feelings. I have watched this last month as many who claim to be enlightened or worse claim to be special with the messiah complexes, weasel their way through what is going on and not stand in their true integrity. They are so moved by money and the perceived power they have over others; they can not see the new paradigm. It’s almost as if they are drunk, and in this state of being, they have created many stories. Several of which are all based on lack and fear. I am not discussing this in a judgment way. They each have their path, as do I, but I do want to bring to the surface a feeding that is going on here. We give our power away to those who we believe are more evolved, more advanced, know more, or have the answers. These people do not have the answers; they are not working on integrating their shadow; they are feeding off of you. We have created these co-dependent, narcissistic relationships here. No one has the answers; no one knows more than you; you have access to everything anyone else does, only limited by your own beliefs and ideas.
Well, the new paradigm brings a whole new way of doing things. We will openly share because when we are a love-based society, we have everything we need. In this new creation, of which we are continuing to align too through our beliefs and choices, connection and holding space for one another is the foundation. Lack and fear are illusions, and when we follow and honestly examine what we are feeling, we will find the answers. At times it may be the shadow ready to be integrated, returning us to our core frequency of source love. It is not difficult to live from this space; it just takes the source love that we are expressed in new open ways. I will admit I have struggled in some areas the one really have a hard time with is communication with those who are outside of this frequency because they hear something else entirely different than what we are saying. But over time, as I have stood firm in these beliefs and made choices that support unconditional love, I have manifested a small support system. And when I look out into the collective, I see these small clusters beginning to pop up everywhere!
I am not saying any of the other paths are wrong; they are just not right for me. For me, I have been guided not to have “clients’ or do “sessions,” which I was only participating in when absolutely guided this last year anyhow, so no real big change there. Honestly, last year I chose to end this practice in having a business or advertising, I ended an ever-evolving business and went within to work with myself, to love myself, and create a more desirable reflection. I do not enjoy working one on one with clients, it does not make my heart sing. I am guided that it is time to live and share my experience. Though I already walk my talk, it is necessary to do that on a larger scale.
This is not about money or business! There are those of us who are creating realities where we do not charge money to guide the connection back to yourself; that is something we all desire, and it is a necessity to create a more utopian society. So why would we keep it out of reach and only available to those who can afford it? Which brings me to our current situation, UNCONDITIONAL LOVING CONNECTIONS are what we are providing, through friendships. We can not get together and have coffee, but we can Zoom. And this just being lovingly human and removal of conditions is what has been missing. It is time to open up and share, to explore beliefs and ideas, opening the door to so much more through our connections.
Funny story, I was part of astrological service/ what I thought was a community. I had volunteered to moderate support groups. This turned out to be six people specially chosen to sit and share; it was not the open forum of support I had hoped it would be. However, in participating, I met some beautiful and amazing people. And just like any other group setting, I wanted to go get coffee after, or get to know one another, l wanted to explore and exchange ideas. This was met with staunch resistance by the owner of the app; of course, he calls himself the “sensei” like he is the all-knowing “master” teaching us. And because my posts to meet up or find a way to get together where removed and the “sensei” said I could openly send emails, I thought to enquire about just creating an open space where we could “get coffee.” Like an open zoom link one night a week or such. He could have just said “no,” but in the swinging of his ego, I had observed more and more frequently, he did not stop there. I was accused of POACHING customers! WTF! In this society of perceived lack, you can not even be friends because it is seen as a threat to those who wish to control. If you keep everything separate and compartmentalized, you maintain control.
This “sensei,” of course, was not open enough to learn anything from us, the typical messiah complex. The unaligned things I heard him say, yet I gave him space to be who he was, because I know we are all expanding at our own rates. Of course, I didn’t listen to my guides when they showed me the string of events that led to him “reading me” through his own perceptual filters, which at the end of the day really had NOTHING to do with me. The words I said that meant something else to him entirely; these allowed him to create such a dark story. I felt him in the email, where he said he could feel my anxiousness, none of which was present when I sent the email. I sent like an innocent child excited by the possibility of connection and ALL OF OUR GROWTH through sharing. And I was met with a mean-hearted, ego-driven, lack filled response. He turned my excited heart filled request to connect, to business and money, and insecurity, NONE of which I was in alignment to. And I completely understand that he does not know any better; he is only doing the best he knows how to do. We all are. We are living with the information we have at this moment; it is no one’s fault. This person must have had some really awful experiences to have responded to me in this way.
But I digress, in my attempt to connect, because my guidance says it is so vital right now, some of us are alone in our homes and downright lonely. In this connected world, we are terribly disconnected. I experienced the projection of a seriously insecure individual who has a great deal of shadow work to do and the threat he perceived me as. This is the type of control and lack mentality I m talking about. We can not even freely be friends without it striking insecurity in someone. AND this has to stop. AND it is in my reality because I DO NOT CONSENT. I choose unconditional love; this is my belief and creation. I always have EVERYTHING I need.
Even though I was shattered and so very saddened by the realization that he represents most of the collective, and he thinks he is the enlightened one. I let my emotions run their course still standing firm in who I AM. See in the past, I would have thought there was something “wrong” with me, but now I clearly see it is not me. My husband and children, immediately were by my side, my little daughters hugging me as I cried. YES, I cried, the negative energy he sent at me crushed my heart. I have a tough time with negative energy; I am so sensitive to ALL energy. And I learned it was because I did not have proper boundaries, again that something was “wrong” with me. But now I know this is just who I AM. I really am all love. The things I do and say are all based in love. I attempt to do everything in new loving ways, always growing and expanding into the next realm of possibility.
I sat on my bed crying as my husband and children came in, and all huddled around me and let me know everything was perfect. And they were right. At the same time, I sent an email to one new friend, and an old friend, I needed to move some energy and have a discussion. There they were, immediately responsive, and I received an insightful email that confirmed my ideas and a text saying lets ZOOM! As I walked away from the computer and went to set up my zoom meeting, I realized how I had finally created an amazing support system. I AM surrounded by unconditionally loving, evolved light beings, AND THAT IS JUST THE HUMANS! I have finally created a support system that knows how to hold unconditional space! To hear me, not validate me, just hold space so I can filter through what I am feeling and thinking, moving the energy so it can be integrated. No one is right; no one is wrong; it just is! When I remove the blame, shame, and guilt, I can see what is beneath the surface and the beliefs and perceptions that create each situation and interaction. At the very core of ALL of it is love, real unconditional love of self, and so as a reflection others.
These last few months, I have learned exactly who I AM and the path or timeline I am choosing. A new path, forged only by possibility, no more creation through limitation and lack. One where I listen to my guidance no matter what the smaller me desires, which is usually belonging based on past abandonment experience. I am learning to stand firm in who I AM, even if I stand alone. With vast appreciation and gratitude, I recognize I have created an unconditionally loving support system that is always there. So in my heartbreak through the assumptions and lack of communication of others, I have found myself and my path fully. I am creating a new reality, one based on unconditional love, where we always have everything we need through open communication and zero assumptions. This is the paradox of reality; everything is a matter of perspective.