Thursday, March 12, came with the announcement that the children would not be returning to brick and mortar schools until further notice. I sent my husband to the grocery store to get some food because I would now need to cook A LOT more now since all three of my daughters would be home all day. Over the next days, I returned my husband to the grocery store because, as is typical, he forgets necessary items on “the list.” It was at this point that I felt my energy shift when I got a real sense of what the panic of others does, a realization of what it does to those of us who are not in that state. Like energy pushing other energy, which will prevail?
I had not realized my energy began shifting on that Thursday, I know who I am, and I honor my belief systems that everything is always exactly as it is meant to be and I do not live in fear. Fear is always a representation of underlying beliefs, feelings, and perceptions. Over the years, I have explored my fears and many years ago determined that most traced back to only a few core beliefs. One, the fear of death. Why the fear of death? We fear the unknown. So those years ago, I took it upon myself to explore this fear and traced it back even further. The exploration allowed me to understand my true essence and what death represented, indeed not the end. The experience took me even more in-depth, the fear of not existing. Once I journeyed into that fear, I understood consciousness from a whole new perspective, and over time my beliefs shifted as I evolved. More and more, my unconscious came to the surface to be explored, understood, accepted, and eventually, each lost its energy, often transforming into something else entirely.
As I explored these experiences and belief systems, I pulled back the layers of beliefs and the illusions created within this construct. Most of us think of beliefs as fixed, but they are malleable. All of our reality is based on agreed-upon beliefs, agreed-upon structures, and energies. Each of us carries forward the programing from generation to generation accepting cultural norms and allowing experiences to create perceptual filters, most of which we are unconscious. Through these realizations, I allowed myself to dive deep and understand all of my pieces and parts. By operating from this sense of clarity in the now moment, I make choices that create more of what I prefer. I am no longer a victim to anything outside of myself. By taking full responsibility, I live in a state that allows me the ability to respond rather than react. Living from this conscious aware state creates an awareness of the now, and a knowing of self that opens the door to experience without judgment.
On Saturday evening, my husband and I were watching a television show as we like to do on most evenings after the children go to bed. It was an action-packed stress-induced television show. Suddenly, I felt a wave come over me, and I began not to feel well. I mentioned to my husband that I did not feel well; he also did not feel well. I sat with this feeling for a few minutes and suddenly realized it was anxiety. Hello old friend!
Even though I was not in fear, a lot is going on, the panic of others, my school work, my brick and mortar schooled children home while my virtually schooled children continue class, and hour by hour societal changes outside of my home. A sudden recognition of my feelings and a focus on self-care was thrust to the forefront. I had just been going through the motions and had not given myself the space to feel. Feeling and exploring my state of being with deep reflection began. The first thing I did was sit with deep breathing venturing into meditation. My visions where a reminder of the knowledge of who I am. Reminding me of the adventure here on earth, that I am the whole and the one. The message to trust in the now, a reminder we can never make the wrong decisions. The energy again thrust me into a new and profound energy of pure confidence in knowing myself and that I am source consciousness creating. A letting go of all structures that once held my beliefs and feelings of insecurity dissipated. I was shown this was the beginning of a considerable change and that once again, just like everything else, perspective is always the key to a new experience through choice.
What the world is going through outside of my door and the impact it has on me is exactly what I have been preparing for these last fifteen years. The current state of things allows for a deep reflection. We all are slowing down and not looking for the next distraction. We are being forced to focus on ourselves and our immediate family and relationships. Rather than viewing this as a situation where one is stuck in isolation, look at it as a chance for introspection and discovery of passion. Start painting, or reading, damn you can almost get a Ph.D. education on Youtube on nearly any topic! What we have is an opportunity here! A time to understand the changes we can make moving forward through observation but also remaining present with what we can do right now. This experience is the perfect opportunity for growth, expansion, and discovery! In this time, remain heart-centered, present, and EXPLORE the self. Discover your passions!
I am reminded of the quote by Wayne Dyer, “when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at begin to change.” Open your mind and reconnect to the essence of who you are.