No doubt, the full moon brought up the emotions that trigger feelings I do not prefer. My meditations had me underwater all day yesterday. I had to allow myself to be submerged and work through each emotion and nurture myself. There was a focus on letting go of judgment and being hard on myself. The communication was reminding me to love myself, to nurture and trust myself, engaging in all that self-love I have been working so hard on this last year.
The messages in the emotions open the door to a depth of understanding of the self that allows for exploration and release. They are the puzzle completed, and with each, I can retrace my steps triggering a new conversation that exists below the surface. It is about the forgiveness of the self. A recognition that we are all only doing what we know how to do, and so is everyone else. If we choose to make changes to create new experiences, we are shown how through this exploration. It really is a choice, and the question remains; what do you prefer?
I prefer the release of the old energy that has me tied to blame, shame, and guilt. Over the last year, I have made great strides and disconnecting from that energy and observing myself in energy from a neutral state. I still have moments where I think, didn’t I do this already! But just like everything else, the love, compassion, and patience have to begin within me, or I can not reflect it into my reality.
This year has been so healing. There has been more connection, release, and creation of what I prefer to date than at any time I recall. The body and I have a depth of communication that I have never experienced. She is always communicating what she requires and even allows space for me to indulge on occasion. She is a reflection of me, my choices, and state of being show up manifested into physicality through her. This last month has been a release of energy on a considerable scale.
I had been suffering from reoccurring bladder infections for over a year until this January. Through seeing what I was holding onto and finally releasing the waste in my life, things like the feelings about myself that were not loving, ideas, and thoughts that did not represent my preferred creation, those based in fear, my bladder cleared up and the reoccurrences ended. As I release, my body sometimes breaks out, and I experience sinus and congestion issues as all the energy releases. And when I hold onto or engage in energy that is not a match to my own, when I am going against my intuition, I swell. Our relationship and communication are next level now; she has shown me exactly how my beliefs, emotions, and choices are reflected through her into this reality.
Yesterday as I was underwater, I allowed myself without worry, fear, but with love to have a donut. I indulged in feeling the flood of endorphins and dopamine into my system with enjoyment. I can eat clean, which does give me more energy, and I do physically feel good, but my inner state of being trumps all of this. For me, the energetics of my state of being is the most important at this time. And loving myself in many forms is what continues to create what I prefer. I am finally celebrating me! Knowing who that is and trusting it fully and standing firmly in my frequency while embracing and loving it with all I have. This level of knowledge and trust is a first for me! It is new, and I have to continue to repeat even when my thoughts take me away from this state. Just as the circuity of my brain and the manifestation was created through repetition, so is the change that I prefer.
We are biological creatures, and our perception of reality is filtered through this biology. So, you see, there is a marriage here, we must communicate and recognize in every choice, physical and internal states, it is reflected through the physical body. We are an open, energetic system; everything is connected. We can not change our diet and work to only release physical toxins; we also need to release the toxins that are beliefs and emotions that do not serve our highest wellbeing. Conscious awareness with the desire to create what I prefer is all I needed. The waves of energy that continue to assist us in this evolution are doing the rest. They take us exactly where we need to go—this time, underwater immersed in emotion, allowing me to see the remnants of hidden energy.
As the full moon has brought energies to the surface to be released, it is time to care and nurture yourself. Know you are always safe, and you cannot screw it up. There is no us against them, and there is no right way or wrong way, there is your way. What feels right for you? Are you making choices based on fear? Are you ready for new experiences? The energies that continue to come in are here to assist these choices if we open. With more light in the darkness, I can see that mess I didn’t know was there. Because I prefer clean, I prefer happiness, and I prefer love. My final words for today as we FEEL… Choose you, choose love, choose to shift the inner states of being to manifest the next step in this amazing human experience.